Stuff

 So we had an estate sale today in order to sell off my mother and stepfather’s 30+ years of collected “stuff.” I use the word “stuff” because that’s the only way I can think to describe the hodgepodge of items…dishes, pots and pans, every kitchen gadget known to mankind, paintings and prints, linens, clothing, jewelry, knickknacks galore, enough Christmas decorations to cover the White House, collectible plates, ornaments, and statues, clocks, tools of every shape and size, cds, cassettes, albums, and the sheet music! Oh the sheet music! I believe almost every instrument is represented including choral works…the list is endless!

I also shredded enough paper to fill at least 20 lawn sized garbage bags…receipts from 30+ years ago…store receipts, utility bill statements, old Insurance documents, and more.

Why do we have so much stuff?!? At this point I’m tempted to dump everything in my house and go live in a trailer with next to nothing! 

And to top it all off…

Whatever didn’t sell at the estate sale has to be hauled away…so we have to pay someone to get rid of the stuff. Shameful! 

No Soup for Me!

 I don’t often get recognition for anything. I’ve had some recognition here and there, but my job is a thankless one. Teachers often hear the crap from parents, admins, students, etc, but rarely do we get recognition….like real recognition in terms of rewards or bonuses. I’ve never gotten recognition from my school district while others who have done less than me…much less…have earned honors for which I’ve been overlooked time and time again. Sometimes it’s downright depressing, because I’d like to get teacher of the month or year from my employer. But that won’t happen for many reasons. 

I also seem to be a has-been at church in terms of singing; I was once part of the A team, but now I play second fiddle. That was apparent at tonight’s choir recording. 

It does depress me somewhat because I try hard. But I think the Lord is keeping my ego in check and reminding me over and over that my reward is in Heaven and not on this earth. Here I need to just be grateful and not ask for too much…when I do, I just get disappointed. Instead, I have to count my blessings and be content.

Still, I sure would like that teacher of the month designation. Sigh! 

Cinematic Masterpiece

 Do you ever have a dream of epic proportions? As in “cinematic masterpiece?” This one would win the Best Picture Oscar hands down.

Only problem is that I woke up and can’t remember the story.

The dream ended with three older women leaving a house and about to get into a car, when the one (she’s the main character) stops to enjoy the beautiful landscape and the majestic mountain vista. She then remembers her true love — the one who was murdered by a jealous ex — and imagines that he is there and takes her hand to lead her by the hand to watch the sunset together…

And the Second Lady reaches up into the storage compartment of an RV and takes out a drawing that her husband, now deceased, had made which was actually a diagram of some trailer schematics (!!!)

Don’t know what the third woman’s :story is since I woke up. I woke up right when the second woman took the drawing/diagram in her hand.  

I woke in a daze, too. It was as if the dream were real and I didn’t known where I was for a second. 

And now it’s gone. This would have been my masterpiece. 

You might be President of the United States someday!

Parents often tell their children things like, “You will do great things in life.” Teachers say these things, too (!!!) In an effort to boost a child’s self confidence/self esteem, I try to find what skills and talents my students have, and I have said things like, “You are so good at writing….why, you’ll probably be a famous author someday!” 

Years ago, many parents would tell their children that they would be president someday! Honestly, I haven’t heard that comment in a long time, likely due to the state of politics in this country…who wants to wish “being President” on their kid anymore? I think I’d much rather my kid be a trash collector or a ditch digger! (No offense to tax collectors and ditch diggers….)

But I digress. 

Why do we say things like this to children?  I guess it would give huge bragging rights to be able to say, “My child just cured cancer,” or “My child is starring in an upcoming movie.” However, in reality not every child will be the next NBA first round draft pick nor the Speaker of the House of Representatives. In fact, most of our children will be fortunate to have a job that pays well enough to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads. 

I propose that instead of encouraging these big accomplishments, parents/teachers/etc should tell children things like, “You are a kindhearted person who stands up for his/her friends,” or “I’m very proud of you for speaking up in class today.” We should focus on what children are doing to be better people in a broken world…people who do “great things” such as speaking up when others are being bullied, or collecting cans of food for the homeless. 

Not everyone has to do something “big” and recognizable by the world in order to make a difference. For we all know it’s the little things that mean the most. 

 

Forgot to post this on July 12th….

There are some things from that nightmare that I remember so clearly…like where I was sitting the minute I found out I had cancer…and how I heard the voice of Jesus telling me to trust Him. There are other things I have either blocked or else the chemo killed some brain cells. 

But after all this time..after last year’s cancer scare…I finally feel at peace knowing it’s never coming back. But I also know that life is short and to make the most of every moment. 

Pulling Weeds

After the last season of torrential downfalls here in SoCal, my backyard became overgrown with weeds…the kind of weeds that take over everything and won’t go away unless you hand yank them by the roots. These weeds have choked some of my plants that I now have to dig up, and they are tangled and out of control. 

So I have been diligently out there yanking those bad boys out little by little, piece by piece. It’s taking me weeks to accomplish this because it’s now freaking hot outside and also because I am out of shape and now in constant pain with achy muscles I had forgotten about. My back hurts.. my shoulders hurt…even my hands are talking to me. 

In addition, a lot of distractions keep getting in the way…like life and all the drama it brings. My elderly father fell and was hospitalized. My stepfather is losing his memory and forgot to pay his bills for several months. Then there is the extended drama surrounding my stepdaughter. Additionally, my husband is currently out of work and so he’s been doing a lot of home projects that need my help as well.

Every time I pass by the patio door, I gaze at the weeds that haven’t been pulled yet and I actually long to get back out there and finish the job. I really can’t wait to pull those weeds. It’s seems very mundane, yet it’s therapeutic for me in an odd way.

It dawned on me today that this is a metaphor for my life. I want to pull the weeds out of my life once and for all. I want to have a healthy garden that doesn’t choke me and get all tangled up and out of control. 

The thing is, I can pull these weeds and beautify my yard, but the weeds will come 

back eventually. They always do. So I need help from a skilled gardener who will help me manage those weeds and keep them out of my yard.

Another metaphor…

I need Christ to help me manage the weeds in my life and to keep them under control. I also need to spend more time with him as I work on weed control. 

My Nothing Box

 I once attended a Christian comedy marriage seminar led by a comic who was popular at the time. He did this whole shtick about men having “nothing boxes” that they retreat into when they are overwhelmed or tired. In comparison, a woman’s brain is always active and thinking of 50,000 things at once. 

This is all true. I always have a million things in my head, usually at night which is why I can’t sleep. But I also have my own variation of the nothing box, which I shall call my “Safety Box.” This is a box I go into when I am feeling overwhelmed, scared, anxious, hopeless, etc. It’s where I go to escape reality. Sometimes I wonder if I’m sane, but maybe this safety box is what keeps me sane. No one can hurt me or upset me in my safety box. In fact, only God is allowed in there with me because He is the only one who has always been there and has always kept me safe. He cares about me unconditionally unlike every other person in this world. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have the Lord next to me in my safety box.