Parents often tell their children things like, “You will do great things in life.” Teachers say these things, too (!!!) In an effort to boost a child’s self confidence/self esteem, I try to find what skills and talents my students have, and I have said things like, “You are so good at writing….why, you’ll probably be a famous author someday!”
Years ago, many parents would tell their children that they would be president someday! Honestly, I haven’t heard that comment in a long time, likely due to the state of politics in this country…who wants to wish “being President” on their kid anymore? I think I’d much rather my kid be a trash collector or a ditch digger! (No offense to tax collectors and ditch diggers….)
But I digress.
Why do we say things like this to children? I guess it would give huge bragging rights to be able to say, “My child just cured cancer,” or “My child is starring in an upcoming movie.” However, in reality not every child will be the next NBA first round draft pick nor the Speaker of the House of Representatives. In fact, most of our children will be fortunate to have a job that pays well enough to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads.
I propose that instead of encouraging these big accomplishments, parents/teachers/etc should tell children things like, “You are a kindhearted person who stands up for his/her friends,” or “I’m very proud of you for speaking up in class today.” We should focus on what children are doing to be better people in a broken world…people who do “great things” such as speaking up when others are being bullied, or collecting cans of food for the homeless.
Not everyone has to do something “big” and recognizable by the world in order to make a difference. For we all know it’s the little things that mean the most.
